A friend asked why I hadn’t posted in a while and I pointed out it’s difficult to write a blog about lesbian dating and relationships when you are neither in a lesbian relationship or even dating.

Her response: So write about that. We’ve all been there.Image

I can’t say the decision to not date was conscious but it wasn’t unconscious either. I got into an endurance cycling event and had to start training my ass off. Frankly, no woman would have wanted to entertain dating me with this regimen. I was up at 6am on weekends and gone for a minimum of 10 hours. I was in bed at 8 or 9 on the weekends. When I had recovery weeks, I was sleeping or hanging out with friends that I’d neglected the other 3 weeks of the training cycle.

In the midst of this I went out to dinner with some friends and – as it always does – the topic of my love life came up. The words, “dating and women are a pain in the ass” came tumbling out of my mouth and I was rather shocked. I’m not a bitter person, I’m actually an optimist. What’s this about? My friend pointed out she didn’t think her partner was a pain in the ass…

I was so taken aback I thought about my words and here’s what I’ve come up with so far… I’ve chosen to date several women that I knew from the start it wouldn’t last. Because the beginning of any relationship is exciting, you make sacrifices and I was giving up time with friends, running, riding and paying lots of money for animal care. LOTS. When the reality of the situation would hit me in the face – I’d get resentful. Then I’d try to make it work. And… queue death spiral.

This phase has been interesting. A friend had a birthday party about a month ago and in trying to sell me on the idea of staying up late and coming straight from a hard-ass training session she said, “there will be single women there.” My response was indifferent, much like that when someone says, “Hey, we’re going to get sushi, wanna come?” Sometimes… you’re just not in the mood for sushi.

It is what it is… for now.