Trust was the topic of the week over coffee with friends. I was all set to talk about the different kinds of trust… financial, emotional, and spiritual, not to mention the physical. Anyone who’s seen trouble has “trust issues.” Unless you want to spend the rest of your life repeating the same mistakes, you work through those things. I learned trust wasn’t just about not telling someone everything; it was more than just about boundaries. But this week, trust took on new meaning.Image

“I don’t trust myself…” tumbled out of my friend’s mouth and the world stood still for a second. Holy shit. Flip the script and turn everything you know about trust on its ear: Do I trust myself when it comes to women? Do I trust my judgment regarding whether or not I should really move forward? How do I discern whether or not that person can – or currently is – meeting my needs?

For review: What’s my criteria for dating… heartbeat? You like me? Sweet! It’s on!

I jest, but really – what I say I want and how I behave are two completely different things. I want a long term, committed relationship. I need someone that’s not going to date me “just to date” or bide their time until something better comes along. Yet I select partners that either have no intention of maintaining long term relationships or are fantastically ill-suited for me.

If I had a friend that that I told time and time again what I needed and wanted yet continually let me down, I would absolutely cut that person loose. My current circle of friends is clear evidence of that. I don’t tolerate mistrust. Yet, when I look in the mirror, it’s ok.

Can you unfriend yourself?Image